That can often be the question!
Every February, our shops are full of red and pink “love tokens” such as cards, flowers, cuddly toys and chocolates and there is a lot of pressure on couples to mark the day with a romantic dinner or treat, even those that have been in long, happy relationships.
For some, Valentine’s Day has lost its true meaning and they consider it to be more of a commercial venture for shops, restaurants and brands to cash in on, particularly given that most things are sold at inflated prices . Many resist being forced to be romantic on a given day, believing that spontaneous shows of love and affection have more meaning. Some may even feel it’s a type of status symbol through which people who celebrate the day can lord it over those that can’t or don’t.
At the other end of the spectrum, there are those that totally love Valentine’s Day, embracing the excitement and romance that it can engender. Some may feel it’s the one day of the year they can look forward to with some certainty that they will exchange outward expressions of love and gratitude with their partners. Others see it as an all-too-rare opportunity to put the hectic nature of everyday life to one side, just for a while, and dedicate some special time to each other as a couple and, in doing so, maintaining the health of their relationship.
Whichever camp you fall in, the important thing is to get agreement with your partner as to how best to approach the day. Explain your wants and needs to your partner and try hard to listen to your partner’s in return, understanding that no point of view is absolutely correct and respecting that each of you has a right to hold the point of view that you do. It may be that you can’t get instant agreement if or how to celebrate the day but try to be patient and work out a compromise that suits you both. You may come up with some interesting and novel ways to celebrate your relationship that feel uniquely right for you.
Just communicating effectively on this issue may provide a blueprint for how you discuss and agree things moving forwards, enhancing the closeness and affection you feel for one another so that come next Valentine’s Day your relationship will be happier and healthier than ever!
Wishing you love and happiness every day, not just Valentine’s Day, from the team at Counselling Connection.